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  • My Eyes Are DryKeith Green
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My Eyes Are Dry

My eyes are dry
My faith is old
My heart is hard
My prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to You and dead to me

But what can be done
For an old heart like mine
Soften it up
With oil and wine
The oil is You, Your Spirit of love
Please wash me anew
With the wine of Your Blood

I love honest prayers.  When you don’t feel close to God or in actuality aren’t “close” to God, the truth is that he’s not far from us.  Honestly, this is where I’ve been lately but honest prayers are always better than “right” prayers.

There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve — even in pain — the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Morse Code: Giving Up on Your Dreams What do you do when your dream dies?  When it’s obvious that all you’ve worked towards isn’t going to come to pass.  One day you realize, you’re just not good at what you’ve been pursuing.  You’re not built for it.  It’s not a natural strength. And now, you find yourself depressed and asking, “What’s next?” I’ve been reading and enjoying David McCullough’s The Greater Journey: Americans in Paris.  In it, McCullough shows how the City of Light attracted hundreds of Americans between 1830 and 1900 — including household names like Harriet Beecher Stowe, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Samuel Morse, and Mark Twain -  and in turn helped shape American art, medicine, writing, science and politics.  Set in Paris, it is a brilliant perspective on American history.   Morse Code One of the characters I’ve appreciated following is Samuel Morse.  I was unaware that Morse had his heart set on becoming a world-class master painter since his early days in college.  And, even though he had a measure of success painting portraits, he failed in his ultimate pursuit. He had travelled to Paris to learn from the masters and spent everyday for two years working on The Gallery of the Louvre (above).  It depicts many of the Louvre’s great paintings on a 6x9 canvas.  Morse sold it for far less than he was hoping. Upon returning home to the United States, Morse gave up painting entirely and with it, his dreams of accomplishment and recognition as an artist.  Morse told his friend, Nathaniel Willis, that he was so tired of his life that had he “divine authorization, he would end it.” “Painting has been a smiling mistress to many but she has been cruel to me. I did not abandon her. She abandoned me.” But Morse’s greatest contribution was yet to come.  He refocused his efforts on something else he had experimented with while in Paris… the magnetic telegraph, precursor to the telephone. Had he not stopped painting when he did, no electrically magnetic telegraph could have happened when it did.  At least not by his hand.  Within a few decades, messages were being sent trans-oceanic all around the globe.  Today, we take global communication for granted but it was nothing short of a miracle at the time. Stop being a copy and realign your focus with your strengths Your failures and setbacks aren’t fatal or final.  And, maybe you do just need to hang in there, not give up, and see that thing through.   Or maybe, you need to realign your focus with your true strengths.  Maybe you’ve been trying to be something you’re not.  You’ve been wishing you could be that “more successful” someone else.  That’s why you’re frustrated.   Maybe you need to stop sitting around merely emulating the “greats” and making copies of their masterpieces.  Maybe just maybe, your greatest contribution is yet to come.  But that won’t happen until you start being you.
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Morse Code: Giving Up on Your Dreams

What do you do when your dream dies?  When it’s obvious that all you’ve worked towards isn’t going to come to pass.  One day you realize, you’re just not good at what you’ve been pursuing.  You’re not built for it.  It’s not a natural strength. And now, you find yourself depressed and asking, “What’s next?”

I’ve been reading and enjoying David McCullough’s The Greater Journey: Americans in Paris.  In it, McCullough shows how the City of Light attracted hundreds of Americans between 1830 and 1900 — including household names like Harriet Beecher Stowe, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Samuel Morse, and Mark Twain -  and in turn helped shape American art, medicine, writing, science and politics.  Set in Paris, it is a brilliant perspective on American history.  

Morse Code

One of the characters I’ve appreciated following is Samuel Morse.  I was unaware that Morse had his heart set on becoming a world-class master painter since his early days in college.  And, even though he had a measure of success painting portraits, he failed in his ultimate pursuit.

He had travelled to Paris to learn from the masters and spent everyday for two years working on The Gallery of the Louvre (above).  It depicts many of the Louvre’s great paintings on a 6x9 canvas.  Morse sold it for far less than he was hoping.

Upon returning home to the United States, Morse gave up painting entirely and with it, his dreams of accomplishment and recognition as an artist.  Morse told his friend, Nathaniel Willis, that he was so tired of his life that had he “divine authorization, he would end it.”

“Painting has been a smiling mistress to many but she has been cruel to me. I did not abandon her. She abandoned me.”

But Morse’s greatest contribution was yet to come.  He refocused his efforts on something else he had experimented with while in Paris… the magnetic telegraph, precursor to the telephone.

Had he not stopped painting when he did, no electrically magnetic telegraph could have happened when it did.  At least not by his hand.  Within a few decades, messages were being sent trans-oceanic all around the globe.  Today, we take global communication for granted but it was nothing short of a miracle at the time.

Stop being a copy and realign your focus with your strengths

Your failures and setbacks aren’t fatal or final.  And, maybe you do just need to hang in there, not give up, and see that thing through.  

Or maybe, you need to realign your focus with your true strengths.  Maybe you’ve been trying to be something you’re not.  You’ve been wishing you could be that “more successful” someone else.  That’s why you’re frustrated.  

Maybe you need to stop sitting around merely emulating the “greats” and making copies of their masterpieces.  Maybe just maybe, your greatest contribution is yet to come.  But that won’t happen until you start being you.

We Shouldn’t Be Surprised by Trials I’ll never forget when I heard the news.  It was in an emergency room and I thought maybe I was facing the wrong way.  Or maybe the doctor was talking past me to another parent.  I was so taken aback.  So caught off guard.  Shocked… surprised… stunned… …numb. Thinking back on that moment years ago, I understand it. It’s only natural to be shocked to hear your child has cancer.  But what if isn’t?  What if being caught off-guard by trials is more our conditioning from the influences of Western culture, both secular and religious.  What if our world is rocked because we have a skewed definition of what we “deserve”? We’re good at marketing Sometimes I think we do a better job of marketing the Bible than we do believing it or walking it out.  Take this for example… John 16:33 - I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (emphasis mine) See that middle part right there.  The part where I used the nifty CMD+I trick.  We like to leave that part out.  It doesn’t market very well, especially that “sorrows” bit.  I mean, that’s the opposite of the canned “I’m blessed, brother. And, you?” Psalm 46:1 - God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. The fact that God is “this” means we must go through “that.”  And “that” stinks.  Sometimes very, very badly. We shouldn’t be surprised… …when trouble comes.  But often times we are.  Maybe I was caught off-guard because deep down I really believed God owed me something.  He would never let that happen to me… to my child… to my family.  But that’s not what he promised.  Seems like I’m really good at marketing as well. What he did promise however is that He’d be there.  My personal experience was that I never felt like he was.  Like wandering in the desert with no help or end in sight.  But looking back, I know He was and is. If you’re going through it… Here are a few things I’ve learned: God doesn’t “owe” me anything I’m normal. Pain, deep pain, is part of the broken human experience. Give yourself permission to experience all the emotions that come with what you’re facing. Ask for help. Pray honestly.  Even is it’s simply, “Help us…” It’s worth hanging in there with the relationships that matter… even when it’s toughest. It won’t happen overnight.  It may take years so settle in for the long haul. You probably won’t feel much simply because your body, mind, and spirit are all wired together and clarity doesn’t come easy but…  God is real. He does love you. He’s not blind even when he’s silent. He’s working on your behalf even now. He believes in you even when you don’t believe in him. If you’re not going through it… this is for you: One day, and probably soon… you will be. Until then… 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 - All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.  (emphasis mine)
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We Shouldn’t Be Surprised by Trials

I’ll never forget when I heard the news.  It was in an emergency room and I thought maybe I was facing the wrong way.  Or maybe the doctor was talking past me to another parent.  I was so taken aback.  So caught off guard.  Shocked… surprised… stunned…

…numb.

Thinking back on that moment years ago, I understand it. It’s only natural to be shocked to hear your child has cancer.  But what if isn’t?  What if being caught off-guard by trials is more our conditioning from the influences of Western culture, both secular and religious.  What if our world is rocked because we have a skewed definition of what we “deserve”?

We’re good at marketing

Sometimes I think we do a better job of marketing the Bible than we do believing it or walking it out.  Take this for example…

John 16:33 - I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (emphasis mine)

See that middle part right there.  The part where I used the nifty CMD+I trick.  We like to leave that part out.  It doesn’t market very well, especially that “sorrows” bit.  I mean, that’s the opposite of the canned “I’m blessed, brother. And, you?”

Psalm 46:1 - God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

The fact that God is “this” means we must go through “that.”  And “that” stinks.  Sometimes very, very badly.

We shouldn’t be surprised…

…when trouble comes.  But often times we are.  Maybe I was caught off-guard because deep down I really believed God owed me something.  He would never let that happen to me… to my child… to my family.  But that’s not what he promised.  Seems like I’m really good at marketing as well.

What he did promise however is that He’d be there.  My personal experience was that I never felt like he was.  Like wandering in the desert with no help or end in sight.  But looking back, I know He was and is.

If you’re going through it…

Here are a few things I’ve learned:

  • God doesn’t “owe” me anything
  • I’m normal. Pain, deep pain, is part of the broken human experience.
  • Give yourself permission to experience all the emotions that come with what you’re facing.
  • Ask for help.
  • Pray honestly.  Even is it’s simply, “Help us…”
  • It’s worth hanging in there with the relationships that matter… even when it’s toughest.
  • It won’t happen overnight.  It may take years so settle in for the long haul.
  • You probably won’t feel much simply because your body, mind, and spirit are all wired together and clarity doesn’t come easy but… 
  • God is real.
  • He does love you.
  • He’s not blind even when he’s silent.
  • He’s working on your behalf even now.
  • He believes in you even when you don’t believe in him.

If you’re not going through it… this is for you:

  • One day, and probably soon… you will be.
  • Until then…

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 - All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.  (emphasis mine)

Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.
Swedish proverb
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Never Beyond Poster Series

POTSC is launching the NEVER BEYOND Poster Series: 25 posters representing well known historical, current and fictional characters who are believed to have harmed society. This campaign consists of digital and print posters and the full collection will eventually be displayed as a touring art exhibit.

The campaign draws out themes of forgiveness, grace and what a pathway to a second chance looks like.

reblog: Where would we go? an iChat conversation

Originally posted April 30, 2009:

ME:  in spite of the failures and pain… we’ve been through some real life and here I am at this table and I look over and maria an ben are there
and all day long he’s been wathcing josiah videos on the ipod and asking questions about God and heaven
and life
and I’m like.. you’re five

FRIEND: HES YOUR SON

ME: and I’m just so thankful that we’re here
and not divorced or dead
or whatever…

FRIEND:  your an atchison

ME:  that in spite of it all… he’s a good God
he’s a good God

FRIEND: atchisons survive hell
you told us that

ME:  and he loves us… me… so much

FRIEND:  yeah he does
dude, he loves ME .. like .. . i have so much malice
and so much hate
and i dont want to
im just being real
and he still loves me,
shows me compassion

ME:  grace

FRIEND:  for sure

ME:  what a word

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"You'd Be Surprised"

a must-read blog post from People of the Second Chance

Love the person not the ideal… A couple weeks ago, my wife and I celebrated fourteen years of marriage. By no means a veteran couple of decades.  But, I can say after fourteen years of great joys and quite a few disappointments, the loss of a child and the toll it takes on the relationship, we have learned a lot. One of the things we’ve learned is to love the person and not the ideal. You know… the ideal of marriage or the ideal of who you think that person is or should be. ideal:adjective1 ideal flying weather: perfect, best possible, consummate, supreme, excellent, flawless, faultless, exemplary, classic, model, ultimate, quintessential. ANTONYMS bad. 2 an ideal concept: abstract, theoretical, conceptual, notional; hypothetical, speculative, conjectural, suppositional. ANTONYMS concrete. 3 an ideal world: unattainable, unachievable, impracticable, chimerical; unreal, fictitious, hypothetical, theoretical, ivory-towered, imaginary, illusory, idealized, idyllic, visionary, utopian, fairy-tale. ANTONYMS attainable, real. noun1 no woman could be the ideal he imagined for himself: perfection, paragon, epitome, shining example, ne plus ultra, nonpareil, dream. Most of the time when you marry, you don’t know who you are, much less who the other person really is.  And, marriage is going to change you.  It’s going to change them.  More accurately, it’s going to reveal the true person versus the person you’ve created in your head. There comes a moment in every relationship when you realize, “You’re not the person I married.”  Yes they are.  They’re not the ideal you married but make no mistake, they are the person. This is especially true for young couples going into “ministry.”  Here’s why: He has a persona that is expressed from behind the microphone or in that setting where his leadership “gifting” is being exhibited.  You are NOT marrying that.  You are marrying him and those are two different things. And, I’m sure she would make the perfect little pastor’s wife but those expectations come from outside.  They work their way in and take up residence.  And it’s toxic.  You are marrying her.  Not the ideal that together you’ll make a great team so you can go out, “grab the world by the tail, pull it down and put it in your pocket.” I think this can be true in every relationship.  Change the context and window dressing but you’ll still find the temptation to love the ideal and not the person.  And… you’ll… be… disappointed… every… time. Instead, toss all that stuff out and simply love the person.  Flaws and all.  Give grace and permission for them to simply be them.  That’s not to say you shouldn’t grow or work at becoming a better you. In fact, that’s the best gift you can give your family. That’s the best gift you can give to the world.  A better you.  But that’s the key.  A better you.  Not a better them.  Focus on that and I promise you’ll be happier, they’ll be happier, and the odds of becoming a veteran couple of decades will improve dramatically.
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Love the person not the ideal…

A couple weeks ago, my wife and I celebrated fourteen years of marriage. By no means a veteran couple of decades.  But, I can say after fourteen years of great joys and quite a few disappointments, the loss of a child and the toll it takes on the relationship, we have learned a lot.

One of the things we’ve learned is to love the person and not the ideal.

You know… the ideal of marriage or the ideal of who you think that person is or should be.

ideal:

adjective
1 ideal flying weather: perfect, best possible, consummate, supreme, excellent, flawless, faultless, exemplary, classic, model, ultimate, quintessential. ANTONYMS bad.

2 an ideal concept: abstract, theoretical, conceptual, notional; hypothetical, speculative, conjectural, suppositional. ANTONYMS concrete.

3 an ideal world: unattainable, unachievable, impracticable, chimerical; unreal, fictitious, hypothetical, theoretical, ivory-towered, imaginary, illusory, idealized, idyllic, visionary, utopian, fairy-tale. ANTONYMS attainable, real.

noun
1 no woman could be the ideal he imagined for himself: perfection, paragon, epitome, shining example, ne plus ultra, nonpareil, dream.

Most of the time when you marry, you don’t know who you are, much less who the other person really is.  And, marriage is going to change you.  It’s going to change them.  More accurately, it’s going to reveal the true person versus the person you’ve created in your head.

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People of the Second Chance: Emmanuel’s Story

It’s a few months old, but here’s a vid by my buddy TK for one of my favorite sites. Good stuff.

“It’s all relative to the size of your steeple.”

Marilyn Manson said that.  And lately, I tend to agree.  For some reason unknown, a topic of conversation keeps reoccurring among a few friends concerning the issue of church growth.  Please keep in mind that all of these friends are either presently involved in some sort of vocational “ministry” or have been in the past.  And please keep in mind that all of us love the Church and have a deep (albeit it imperfect) relationship with Christ expressed differently and in various contexts.

I’ve been pretty vocal lately because my growing frustration is not just with the obsession of “church growth” as evidenced by the unending conferences, books, seminars, and podcasts on the issue.  My frustration… eh, let me use a stronger word here… disgust.  Well, that’s too strong.  Somewhere in between, maybe.  My frustration, is that no one seems to be questioning the very definition of “church growth” or at very least measuring it against New Testament priorities.

I usually shy away from tossing out “facts”.  “Facts” are usually just our opinions that we can’t let go of.  But, at the risk of becoming a giant target (not that I’m bothered by that because I’ve been a target before and the word “giant” here is laughable because a mere three people are reading this post), I’m going to throw down a fact.  Here goes:

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