reblog: The Beautiful Paradox of Good Friday and the Final Words of Jesus
Originally posted on Good Friday - April 2, 2010
I was chatting with a friend on iChat earlier this morning and I wanted to recognize this important day but somehow “Happy Good Friday” just seemed inappropriate so I settled on a rather weak and cliche “God bless you and your family today.” It’s the best I could come up but I meant it knowing today should be a day of sober reflection for every follower of Christ.
Even the name “Good Friday” is paradoxical. It’s a good day for us but it wasn’t so good for him.
But I also find that Jesus’ final words carry a bit of paradox that a lot of people can relate to and resonate with. I know he was fufilling prophesy but it doesn’t diminish what I believe Jesus was really feeling in that moment and was honest enough to come right out with it…
Matthew 27:45-46: From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi,lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Have you ever felt this way? Ever felt like Almighty God was letting you down? Ever wondered, “What in the world are You waiting for? Step in and DO SOMETHING!”
I know I have. But, I love how God in his wonderful grace and mercy has placed things in his Word so human and so raw. It’s not the glossed over Gospel that is often times presented today. It’s real. It’s gritty. It’s to be wrestled with and grappled with.
The Beautiful Paradox of Good Friday and the Final Words of Jesus can be seen in his follow up to this incredible feeling of despair…
Luke 23:44-46: It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.
The same God who Jesus felt had left him out to dry, was the same God he committed his life to… committed his spirit to… committed his pain to… committed his trust to.
Jesus is our perfect example. He’s the essence of beauty and life. So…
May you, on this day, even though you feel forsaken and torn and broken and bruised… even by God himself… turn to Him because he’s good. He’s loving. He’s faithful.
And He cares for me and you.
I Am Right and You Are Wrong
I came across this photo a couple weeks ago as part of The 45 Most Powerful Images of 2011. The caption reads:
Christians protect Muslims during prayer in Cairo, Egypt.
As I paused to reflect on the image and all it means, I was reminded of something else. Sadly, there are those in my own faith and a certain brand of Christianity that would take issue with the thought of protecting Muslims. Because, after all, we are “right” and they are “wrong”.
It seems some people can’t move beyond this lowest level of thinking. It consumes them. They are always out to prove their “rightness.”
- Our political party is right and yours is wrong, on all accounts. And, because of our self-convinced and overwhelming “rightness” we certainly won’t budge on any issue.
- Our method of “doing church” is right and yours is wrong. Our tradition, song, worship style, discipleship model… all of the above.
- Our theological position on (insert just about any issue here) is right and therefore yours is wrong. We have Scripture on our side to prove it.
We throw down the gauntlet with a chip on our shoulder, daring anyone to challenge us. Well, maybe it’s not that bad but all of us are guilty of this unloving attitude on some level.
How many times has a mere disagreement between spouses escalated to full-blown argument as it moves beyond the issue at hand into the territory of who is right and who is wrong? All my childish efforts to prove I’m right usually require someone else to be wrong. But at what expense? A deep cost in relationship and much much more.
It’s ironic that the overarching narrative of the Bible is that God wants relationship with his people and they with each other. In light of this truth, “being right” is of relative little importance. It’s easy to miss the heart of God as we trumpet our position on the various issues.
Are we so insecure in our beliefs that we must clamor (most of the time very loudly) for validation? That is usually what is at the core. The need for someone else to affirm us. When we’ve been affirmed by Christ and have truly embraced it, there’s no need to go about attacking or defending.
The older I get, the less concerned I am with being right. I don’t have to defend anything. It just is what it is. I don’t feel the need to correct all the time. I can disagree with others and still be in relationship.
Of course, I’ve not arrived. I just have a growing disdain for this attitude in the political arena and especially amongst my own brothers and sisters. I hate it most of all in me. With love, temperance, and grace I hope to grow out of it completely. If that’s not possible (I’m not sure it is), at least I want to recognize it way in the distance so I can abandon it before too much harm is done.
Your Failure IS What Qualifies You
“In spirituality we learn far more from getting it wrong than we do by getting it right.” - Richard Rohr
The Story
Last week, I heard some unsettling news. News, that if I’m honest, is really none of my business. But, since I genuinely care about those involved, my first response was one of concern. Some old friends, who I haven’t talked with in a while, are on the verge of making a huge life decision. They’re getting married. Under normal circumstances, I’d be happy for them. But in this case, I’m not. I’m troubled.
One of them has just recently gone through (and I’d say, still in the middle of) a pretty painful experience. It’s still very fresh. And so, there I am all alone at the breakfast table having this internal conversation… pleading.
“It’s too soon! You really need to heal. You’ve gotta talk this out with someone. Give it some time. You need to make sure you’ve recovered from all this stuff. Can’t either of you (or anyone close to you) see that this can’t possibly have a healthy foundation? Come on bro, this isn’t wise at this time.”
All the things I want to say but can’t.
The Voice
Then… the voice. I suspect you know this voice as well. The response in your internal dialogue that is supposed to be theirs but in reality, is your own.
“Who are you to say anything or even have an opinion? Your failures were big. Epic even. Your failures were public. You let people down. You’ve got nothing to say to them or this situation.”
And with that, my train of thought came to a screeching and deafening halt as my mental engineer threw the switch to full reverse.
I don’t know if what came next was God speaking or just my increasing resistance to this negative self-talk but it was loud and certain.
“My failures don’t disqualify me from speaking into these kinds of situations but instead they actually make me more qualified to speak.”
Let me say it this way…
Your failures don’t disqualify you from speaking into people’s lives. Instead, they actually have the potential to become the most powerful ingredients of your qualifications. It may take time, but you begin to speak with more, not less, authority. You begin to draw from something deeper.
Again, I’ll quote from Richard Rohr in Falling Upward
After all, what is more common to humanity than gross sin and epic failure? What’s more universal than deep pain and struggle?
Grace to Speak
When we allow grace from God and grace from others to heal us deeply, we actually become more equipped to speak to those walking through similar situations. Don’t run from your ability and responsibility to help others simply because you are insecure. People know your junk or maybe it’s just that you do. Either way, get over it.
If (and that’s a big “if”) you’ve healed, grown, and recovered from your darkest moments, then allow God to use you as opportunity comes your way.
reblog: I don’t want to do anything big for God…
Originally posted July 1, 2009
I know my blogging is sporadic at best and I still sometime wonder if it’s worth it or why even bother. But, here I am… unfiltered, uncensored and certainly unpolished.
The statement above (the title not the one about sporadic blogging) is so in contrast from the way I lived my life for years. Most of my life, I was told to “dream a big dream.” Dream a big dream of doing something great… something big… something awesome for God. And, make sure your dream is bigger than anything you can accomplish on your own or else it’s probably not God which is code for you are doing it all in the flesh and without faith and… you get the point. You’ve probably heard it too. Heck… I even preached a couple of these in my day.
And, like most things in life, I’m evaluating everything. It’s just where I am these days and at this point in my journey. So, I’ve been thinking about these statements and more importantly these concepts that we throw off on people in the Western church. And, I’ve been looking to the Word (there’s a novel idea) and comparing this line of thinking to the examples we find in there.
By and large, I don’t see this as the line of thinking in the examples the Holy Spirit, in His limitless wisdom, decided to hand down for all generation to benefit. Most of the men of faith had a measure of contentment rarely seen in church leaders in America. You don’t see the pressured “build it as big as you can, as fast as you can” stressed out, “why isn’t this working, so let’s try the next thing” frenzy that a lot of church leaders exist in.
I don’t see the “big dreams” beginning with man at all. It’s always been initiated by God.
- God comes and taps Noah on the shoulder and somehow this drunkard of a man saves the planet and repopulates the earth.
- God comes to Gideon and his response is, “Certainly, not me.”
- God comes and hits Moses up and Moses argues for three chapters why God got it wrong and he’s not the guy.
- God chooses mere fisherman who are content at working the family business to launch a global movement.
The only figure I can identify with a lot of ambition and “big dreams” to do “great things” for God is Saul… before God knocked him off his horse and he became Paul. He was killing Christians in the name of God and in the name of doing “great things” for God.
So, somewhere along the line, we have to stop the madness of it all and stop the frenzy of it all and just walk. Struggle if need be. And focus on what’s most important. And if somehow God taps us on the shoulder for something extraordinary then fine. And if not, that’s fine too.
We all have our part to do in raising our families. Doing the simple work of caring for others. Loving… truly loving our neighbors. Being generous and humble. Expressing devotion to God in simple service. And, I think in those things, God may just be more pleased than us getting all worked up about fulfilling the “big dreams” and building it as big as we can, as fast as we can.
Some may say, “that’s a cop out” but honestly I pity those that still live in that completely unbiblical, stressed out, fear-filled world of Amercian church leadership.
I for one, am living the dream and it may not be big to others but it is big to those closest to me. And I’ve never been more content.
A lesson from the younger Steve Jobs
I just recently finished a wonderful book by David A. Price called The Pixar Touch. In it, the author chronicles the rise of the computer-animation pioneer and follows the founders’ unrelenting quest to produce the first full-length feature animated movie. For years, Pixar sold computer hardware as it’s core business before getting the opportunity to do what they dreamed of and loved. What a lesson in patience and “keeping your eye on the ball.”
Every story is interesting and compelling if you look hard enough. I believe multiple lessons can be learned from every book. This one is no exception. Many business and life lessons can be gained from the Pixar story but one encounter stands out. I’d like to recount that here.
Of course, the book wouldn’t be complete without spending considerable time on the role of CEO, Steve Jobs. In the past week, there’s been a lot of reflection on the life of Steve Jobs and his impact on culture. His commencement speech at Stanford University in 2005 reveals a man who matured and learned a great deal about what is truly important. This story isn’t about that man. It’s about the much younger Steve Jobs.
The Story
Let me set the stage. It’s 1986. Steve Jobs has been fired from Apple, the company he founded. Pixar (not their name at the time) is owned by Lucasfilms. All Pixar wants to do is make computer-animated films. This means they aren’t focused on developing the digital sound and video editing systems Lucasfilms wants. Not to mention the boring electronic accounting programs. That’s why George Lucas bought them in the first place.
Lucas wants to sell. Steve Jobs wants to buy. And, after a year of rejecting Jobs’ offer of $5 Million, Lucas finally caves. It’s deal time. Let’s do this.
I’m paraphrasing, but this is what happened next:
Lucas: “Come on up and we’ll sign the papers.”
Jobs: “No, you guys come down here to sign.”
Lucas: “We’re not going anywhere. You come to us.”
Jobs: “No. We’ll sign down here.”
Lucas: “That’s not going to happen.”
Jobs: “The deal is off then.”
Lucas: “Fine.”
They ended up… and here’s the word… compromising. They met in the middle at a lawyer’s office and ended up signing the papers there.
The Lesson
I can hear you now. ”It’s a lesson about compromise. I get it.” Not really. Here’s what you need to understand. We’re talking about sixty miles. It’s a pretty substantial business deal. I’m reading this and I want to scream, “Someone… for the love of Pete… drive the 60 miles.”
Sometimes, we don’t need to compromise. Sometimes, one person just needs to cave and give in for the benefit of the bigger picture.
How many times has the argument over something insignificant escalated to atomic proportions? You and your spouse are at odds, all because one of you isn’t willing to go the relatively short distance to bridge the gap.
You win but really lose.
What has been lost in relationship simply because you don’t know how to “pick your battles”? You win. But you really lose. And, you don’t just lose. Those around you lose too.
Imagine if the deal hadn’t happened. All because of a measly 60 miles. No Woody. No Buzz Lightyear. No Sulley. No Mr. Incredible. No Nemo.
Some could even argue… No rescuing of Disney at a time when it lost the plot and was creatively anemic.
So, the next time you’re tempted to throw the “compromise card,” evaluate whether compromise is really what’s needed. Try and look objectively at the bigger picture. Then you make the effort to close the distance. You drive the 60 miles to make the deal work. You go farther than the other person with a deep understanding that there’s always more at stake than who is “right” and who is “wrong”.
Who Me? A Second Chance?
“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.”
- Edwin Louis Cole
If you follow me on Twitter or are a regular reader here at DNSLNS.com, then you know I’m a big fan of People of the Second Chance. Right now, they’re in the middle of a series asking the question “Who Would You Give a Second Chance?”
POTSC is launching the NEVER BEYOND Poster Series: 25 posters representing well known historical, current and fictional characters who are believed to have harmed society. This campaign consists of digital and print posters and the full collection will eventually be displayed as a touring art exhibit.
Grace is Provocative
With figures like Casey Anthony, Mike Tyson, Darth Vader, and a KKK Klansman, it’s provocative to say the least. But, I don’t think it’s provocative because of the people they’re choosing to highlight. It’s provocative because radical grace itself is provocative.
I’m reminded of a quote from Philip Yancey’s What’s So Amazing About Grace?: “Who does God love more? The murdered or the murderer?”
I know, I know. All this talk about grace leads to a watered-down, soft-on-sin, easy gospel. But was Jesus “hard on sin” here? Or here or here or here or here or here?
Radical grace is provocative. It isn’t “fair”. At times, it’s even disturbing.
I’ve been the recipient of incredible grace from God as expressed though the people around me. Because of this, I do a pretty good job extending it to others. “Letting things go” tends to come naturally for me. I take no credit for it. I think it’s just part of my disposition and personality. Don’t get me wrong. I have my flare-up moments where I want to thump someone but it tends to subside pretty quickly.
What about me?
The one person I have a hard time forgiving is… me. It doesn’t come naturally. My internal dialogue sometimes gets the best of me. I replay my failures over in my head. In insecurity, I meander about, “hearing” what other people are saying or thinking.
- “Who does he think he is?”
- “He’s not ready to lead.”
- “Did you hear about…?”
- “He could have done so much. But…”
Can you relate to these negative voices inside? How much time, energy, and potential have been wasted by looking in the rearview mirror of guilt? How many missed opportunities?
Hidden Sins
When you’re the only one that knows your vices, you’re in a dangerous place. It’s much easier to wallow in the mud of self-pity, depression, and guilt. It also becomes a cycle of your worst self-fulfilling prophecies. You turn to the very thing you’re guilty of, making it that much harder to forgive yourself and move on.
You’ve got to have a few people that know your darkest shadows. That’s not easy especially in our modern church culture. We’re programmed to hold it all together and fall in line. So we smile, keep secrets and slowly die a death of a thousand cuts. Cast that dysfunction off. Take a leap of trust and let it out. That’s the only way to disarm guilt. It’s called confession. The Apostle John talks about it here.
Toxic Voices
Toxic voices are another thing that keep us from forgiving ourselves. When you’re surrounded by people who keep reminding you of your failures, it’s time to set some boundaries. Several years ago, Maria and I chose to temporarily move across the Atlantic to Northern Ireland at the offering of some great friends. One of the primary factors in this decision was to set some real boundaries and insulate ourselves from some voices that weren’t the most objective in their perspective. It was difficult. But in doing so, we found a respite from the storm without the cacophony of voices muddying the waters.
When we returned, we also found those relationships healthier with more appropriate boundaries in tact. I’m not suggesting a continental move but you may have to shut out some toxic voices and surround yourself with people who give you permission to forgive yourself and move on.
Stare the Mountain in the Face
When we talk about forgiveness, we’re not talking about acting as if no offense occurred. I think that’s one of the reasons radical grace is so tough for people. There’s a false implication that forgiveness means avoiding the validity and impact of someone’s wrongdoing. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Forgiveness is making an exact accounting of the pain, impact, consequence, and effect of the wrongdoing… and letting it go. It’s staring the mountain of debt in the face and releasing that person from what they owe you.
It’s no different when facing the mountain of your own making. Stare the mountain in the face. Admit the wrong. Face it head on. Make an accounting of the effects on others, yourself, and the direction your life is now heading. Do your best to make it right. Then release yourself from the debt and move on… or at least move forward in the grace God extends.
The best gift you can give to your spouse, kids, friends, and even the world at large… is a better you. Part of that better you comes from embracing a clean slate. Grace means a new start. It means picking up from where you are. Do it today.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
- Lamentations 3:21-23
reblog: What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate
Originally posted on May 1, 2010
The other night, Patrick and I stopped at a gas station just outside Nashville on our way home from the Montgomery Gentry video shoot. I went inside to grab some snacks for the late night drive home and my interaction with the attendant (we’ll call him George) went something Iike this:
George: Is that gonna do it for ya?
Me: Yep. (Pause) Oh, and this Powerbar. Don’t know why I kept it in my hand.
George: Do you have cash? Cause you can’t pay with a credit or debit card for that.
Me: I can’t use my debit card?
George: Not for that. Everything else is fine except for that. It’s against the law to pay for it with a credit card.
Me: It’s against the law to pay for the Powerbar with my credit card? That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard.
George: Where are you from, son?
Me: Birmingham. But why does that matter?
George: Well, up here it’s illegal to pay for that with a credit or debit card.
Me: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Why in the world would that be illegal?
George: Well, they probably don’t want people running up debt by coming in here buying a bunch of them all at the same time.
Me: That’s hilarious! Stupidest law I’ve ever heard of in my life. I can’t believe it’s illegal in Tennessee to pay for a Powerbar with my credit or debit card no matter how many I want to buy at one time. I should be able to buy as many as I want even if in this case it only happens to be one.
George: Did you say “Powerbar?” I thought you said “PowerBall.”
Funny how one small misunderstood word can change an entire conversation. Communication would be much more effective if we would just back up and clarify what we said instead of expecting the other person to just magically understand where we’re coming from.
reblog: We’ve All Got a Lego Stuck Up Our Nose
Originally posted on May 29, 2010
Benaiah comes over with tears in his eyes and says, “EMERGENCY!!!” He tilts his head back so I can look in his nose and I calmly say, “You’re good. You’re not bleeding. Did you scratch yourself or something?”
Shaking his head he says, “No, there’s a Lego stuck up in there.” At this point in the story, I’d like to say that I remained calm, cool, and collected. But, I didn’t. My response went something Iike…
“Oh no! Why would you stick a Lego up your nose? Honey, get off the phone, we’re probably going to the emergency room. Ben, why would you do this? Don’t ever do that again. Oh man.”
Now, in my defense, I looked in his nose and there was most assuredly NOT a Lego up in there which means there was a Lego WAY up in there. So I had a bit of a reason to freak out, at least a little.
We went to the bathroom and one good, hard blow later and the Lego was in my hand. I know it’s gross but I was thankful to have the ironically green Lego piece in my hand and not the recesses of my son’s nasal and sinus cavity.
He cried a little bit and I was relieved but as we sat there watching Astro-Boy later that evening, I reflected back on my response…. or rather, my reaction. Not that I freaked out all that much but, I should have remained a bit more calm. Later in life, when my son has something really important to tell me, I don’t want him to be afraid of my reaction. I don’t want him to hold it in like we sometimes do, only to try and navigate whatever situation or problem he’s facing on his own.
At times, we all suffer silently in temptation, sin, guilt, grief, fear or depression because we’re afraid of how others will react. We’ve got to do a better job of confessing to one another. But more than that, we’ve got to be the kind of people others can confess to because in the end, we’ve all got a Lego stuck up our nose.
Never Beyond Poster Series
POTSC is launching the NEVER BEYOND Poster Series: 25 posters representing well known historical, current and fictional characters who are believed to have harmed society. This campaign consists of digital and print posters and the full collection will eventually be displayed as a touring art exhibit.
The campaign draws out themes of forgiveness, grace and what a pathway to a second chance looks like.
The Quiet Place
Absolutely love this! The use of Jack’s Song from LOST makes it. If pressing the spacebar does nothing, simply click anywhere on the screen instead to scroll to the next message. And with this, I’m out for the rest of the day.
“Holy cow!! That’s one helluva divot Mr. Kimlin!”
Love the person not the ideal…
A couple weeks ago, my wife and I celebrated fourteen years of marriage. By no means a veteran couple of decades. But, I can say after fourteen years of great joys and quite a few disappointments, the loss of a child and the toll it takes on the relationship, we have learned a lot.
One of the things we’ve learned is to love the person and not the ideal.
You know… the ideal of marriage or the ideal of who you think that person is or should be.
ideal:
adjective
1 ideal flying weather: perfect, best possible, consummate, supreme, excellent, flawless, faultless, exemplary, classic, model, ultimate, quintessential. ANTONYMS bad.2 an ideal concept: abstract, theoretical, conceptual, notional; hypothetical, speculative, conjectural, suppositional. ANTONYMS concrete.
3 an ideal world: unattainable, unachievable, impracticable, chimerical; unreal, fictitious, hypothetical, theoretical, ivory-towered, imaginary, illusory, idealized, idyllic, visionary, utopian, fairy-tale. ANTONYMS attainable, real.
noun
1 no woman could be the ideal he imagined for himself: perfection, paragon, epitome, shining example, ne plus ultra, nonpareil, dream.
Most of the time when you marry, you don’t know who you are, much less who the other person really is. And, marriage is going to change you. It’s going to change them. More accurately, it’s going to reveal the true person versus the person you’ve created in your head.
The Daily Show | Indecision 2012 - Corn Polled Edition Ron Paul and the Top Tier
Thank you Cody for posting this… Makes me want to back him even more.
Mom… I have a problem. I’m growing a beard.
“It’s all relative to the size of your steeple.”
Marilyn Manson said that. And lately, I tend to agree. For some reason unknown, a topic of conversation keeps reoccurring among a few friends concerning the issue of church growth. Please keep in mind that all of these friends are either presently involved in some sort of vocational “ministry” or have been in the past. And please keep in mind that all of us love the Church and have a deep (albeit it imperfect) relationship with Christ expressed differently and in various contexts.
I’ve been pretty vocal lately because my growing frustration is not just with the obsession of “church growth” as evidenced by the unending conferences, books, seminars, and podcasts on the issue. My frustration… eh, let me use a stronger word here… disgust. Well, that’s too strong. Somewhere in between, maybe. My frustration, is that no one seems to be questioning the very definition of “church growth” or at very least measuring it against New Testament priorities.
I usually shy away from tossing out “facts”. “Facts” are usually just our opinions that we can’t let go of. But, at the risk of becoming a giant target (not that I’m bothered by that because I’ve been a target before and the word “giant” here is laughable because a mere three people are reading this post), I’m going to throw down a fact. Here goes:
